I am a regular attendee at Dancing Branflakes. Every Tuesday Tiffany does an anonymous ( if wish to be so) pour-your-heart-out, on different topics. Yesterday's topic was pregnancy. I left mine, of course ( and not anonymously... I seem to forget to click the proper square. Oh, well...), but more so, I kept coming back over and over to the comments re-reading them.
What I couldn't get off my mind, is how many women are terrified of pregnancy, and more so, child birth. My heart aches for them, because just not that many years ago I was there myself... I remember very well my first pregnancy, my first Dr appointment, "problems", and my shaking knees when I was told that " you are not going home, you are going to have a baby now" , and not because I was in labor. Convenience and fear of liability overcame the sane human judgement. A much worse repeat second time around. NICU. Preemie...
Anyway. To make a very long story short: I was not very happy about being pregnant with my third child. I wanted the baby VERY much, but the pregnancy... I loathed it. Until I was lead to a beautiful, amazing woman. A midwife by God's call. Actually, I had to transfer care at 35 weeks, because I was facing a dr ordered induction, even though there were no medical reason for it, but as a precaution , just in case, and so that I "wouldn't need so suffer more". Don't get me wrong - my pregnancies are far from fun. Puking and all that - I live in the bathroom all 9 months. But I didn't mind going full 40 - that's what is best for the baby, that is what I will do. It felt ALL.WRONG. when he said that although, there is no medical reason, but "based on the previous history"...
Previous history?! I thought I was told every stinking appointent that "every pregnancy is different" , so what history are we talking about here? All the stress of constant fighting to stay pregnant started to take its toll on me , making me feeling worse by the minute. So, I was left to a choice - stick to this practice, or look for a second opinion. The second opinion confirmed my thoughts, but no Dr were willing to take me in this late into pregnancy. With the help from friends - and really, Divine interference - this amazing woman appeared in my life. And in very short 5 weeks she taught me more , then I learned in all 3 pregnancies. You all know how it ended ( and you can read about it here).
I loved every minute of those last 5 weeks and the whole, entire new ( last ) pregnancy, but only with gratitude for my amazing midwife. She taught me how to educate myself, to learn more about pregnancy, baby, etc. Pregnancy is such a special , wonderfu land beautiful time. It hurts me to see that people tend forget about the biggest blessing and a miracle we have - our children. There is nothing that is worth more then they do. Like right now I have one that is snorring on my shoulder while I'm typing this.
So, I guess , the point is - don't be afraid, go for it! Even if you are a "non-mothering" type. Your hormones are going to kick in, and you will be just fine. Trust me. And as people, There is never a point when you feel up to it... Open your hearts up - let the love overcome fear. What you are going to get back is going to be worth it. I promise.
What are YOUR feelings about pregnancy? Are you happy? Scared?
Please, don't hesitate, email or text me . I'm also on twitter {@livingnotesnyc)
PS - the pictures used today are just my "every day" pics. They may not be as beautiful as you are sued to, but these are a part of real life, and - in my eyes - have a beauty of its own, in a message they deliver.
PPS here is a little sneak peek into our photoshoot today for LuluWraps! I HIGHLY recommend them - best wraps ever. My baby adores it too - and THAT is saying something.
